Introvert… or Autistic?
So, I’ve been learning a lot (more) about autism lately. Turns out, my kiddo is autistic (even though we were repeatedly told, “no, they aren’t” when they were younger) and the personal shock of the century… turns out… I’M autistic! Gah!
The funny thing is, when I was little, my aunt’s best friend, Ruth, worked with severely autistic kids. "What’s autistic?” I asked. She described autism, and it sounded horrible! She told my dad, “You’re lucky that none of your kids are autistic.” And yet, my dad was autistic, and so was my brother, and so was (am) I. Even though autism is a neurological condition, it’s still treated by most people as a mental illness. And mental illness still carries a huge stigma. In my (very religious) family of origin, mental illness was considered a spiritual sickness, and the solution was prayer and contrition. You just didn’t talk about it - unless you wanted to talk to a priest! But that’s a whole ‘nother topic.
Anyway, the reason this blog post is called “Introvert… or Autistic?” is because I’ve been thinking a lot on the topic since watching a YouTube video called Are you actually autistic or are you really an introvert? (5 Ways To Know the Difference), by Paul Micallef. Based on the simple criteria in the video, I am a genuine extreme introvert - and also very likely autistic.
Upon reflection, I realize that I take care of a lot of people on the autism spectrum in my practice, and they tend to do very well with NET (the Neuro Emotional Technique). NET changed my life, and I’ve often thought about “why” it made such a profound impact on me where other approaches had not. After discovering the Enneagram, I concluded that it must be because as a type 5 (Investigator), I am out of touch with my emotions and my body, and NET is a body-based approach that helps to reconnect me with my body and my emotions. True enough.
But now with this new lens - the realization that I, too, am squarely on the autism spectrum - I can see that NET has been profoundly helpful to me because it has directly helped to reduce my body’s stress response to social situations and social interactions. If you’ve read my book, The Issues are in the Tissues, then you know that when I first got into practice, I used to get a killer headache - and often had to go throw up - if there were more than 5 patients on my schedule on a given day. NET helped to extinguish that stress response, and I stopped getting those headaches. Social interactions still take a lot of energy for me, but they don’t trigger extreme stress responses like they used to.
NET is a neurologically-based approach that helps to deactivate stress responses that are no longer appropriate. For example, it’s 100% appropriate for your body to freak out and go into high alert if someone is trying to break down your door! However, it’s not helpful for your body to freak out if you are in a safe place with no threat but there happens to be a similar looking door nearby. NET can help with the freaking out in response to a non-threatening door. But NET can’t “fix'“ things are hardwired into the system.
NET can’t “fix” introversion, because there’s nothing to fix! Introversion or extroversion are innate characteristics that you are born with. If you’re not really an introvert - just a traumatized person who is withdrawn - then NET can help settle down the traumatized physiology and bring you closer to your authentic self. Likewise, NET can’t “fix” autism, but it can help with various stress responses. I have a strong aversion to phone calls. And yes, I’ve had plenty of NET on trying to “fix” this problem. While the NET has helped a lot - no more sweaty palms or elevated heart rate while making or answering a phone call! - it doesn’t change the fact that I strongly dislike them. I’m realizing that it’s because it’s already hard for me to read social cues, and it’s even worse when all I have to go on is a voice!
I’m glad that the younger generation is growing up in a time when there is a lot more understanding and awareness of the autism spectrum! I’m glad they have the language to talk about it and more resources as they head into the adult world. For the adults of my generation (Gen X) and beyond, I’m glad that we can learn along the way, and that we have fast-acting healing modalities like NET to help us adapt to this intense world we live in!
And that’s pretty much all I have to say about that. Oh, I read somewhere that The Algorithm Gods favor blog posts with pictures. So, I’m going to add a picture from a couple of days ago. It’s me in front of the Gerald R. Ford Presidential Museum in Grand Rapids, Michigan. (I was out there for a pen-pal’s wedding.) In the picture, it looks like Betty Ford is trying to touch my butt! My friends and I thought it was hilarious, and I hope you do, too.
