So What’s the story with The Tattoo?

A lot of people look at the cover of the book and ask, "Is that tattoo real?" and/or "Is that you?" And the answer to both questions is, "Yes!" (I often follow this up with, "Please don't tell my mom. 😬")

Anyhoo, I usually leave it at that.

But I thought that I would go ahead and tell the tale.

In the book, I very briefly alluded to a mystery health crisis that hit around 2010.

When it first happened, it manifested as a bizarre explosion of hundreds of little floaters in my visual field! I didn't notice much at first until I went on a boat ride on a glassy lake in Montana. (It was at an NET seminar - one of my favorite times of year!)
The water on Flathead Lake was as clear and still as glass.
But my visual field was full of tiny translucent dots! They looked like tiny clear blood cells. It was pretty alarming.

My first trip to the eye doctor was not very helpful.

"You have floaters. Nothing to do about that."

Mkay. Well, it got considerably worse, and I was referred to a specialist, and another, and another. Nobody could ever figure out exactly what was wrong, and most of them agreed that it was "probably some kind of autoimmune thing."

The proposed solution was to put me on immune suppressing drugs indefinitely, even though there were no indicators of immune problems in my blood work!

As my vision got weirder and dimmer, I thought that I might even go blind, and that I may have only a few years of decent vision left!

And so, I quickly got to work on my "visual bucket list." What were all the things that I wanted to SEE before I died, and what were the things that I would no longer be able to enjoy if I lost my sense of sight?! The top few things on my list were: to see the Northern Lights, the glow worms in the caves of New Zealand, to see Rapa Nui (Easter Island), to snorkel and see the coral at the Great Barrier Reef, and to have and see a gigantic backpiece tattoo!

It should surprise no one that a Gen-Xer would want a big tattoo. But I had always fallen in that "piercing" category, since piercings could be easily hidden or closed up after a change of heart, but a tattoo... now that was a commitment! I would have to think long and hard about that!
And think I did.
For years and years.

Around 2002, I saw a beautiful fresh tattoo on one of my patients and I commented on it.
He then pulled out his tattooist's business card and handed it over to me.
It was a woman named Tex.
I kept that card for 10 years, and when the time came, I gave her a call.

I brought her an image that I really loved - a representation of a quasi-deity called Baphomet, and said that I wanted a full back piece.
"A full back piece is a big commitment," she said.
She seemed a little leery, as I did not have any tattoos at all!
She also said that the picture I brought would make a terrible backpiece because it would not work well with the contours of the body.
And so, she worked with me to redesign the image to flow more naturally with the canvas - my body. The result is a unique representation of Baphomet.

Some of you have no familiarity at all with Baphomet, and some of you may have a squirmy familiarity that it is also the symbolic mascot of The Satanic Temple! So is it "Satan" or "Satanic" or what?!

No.

The classic Baphomet symbol comes from a description in a book by the 19th century esotericist, poet and author Eliphas Levi. This might be boring philosophy speak, so it might read like blah blah blah, but oh well:
“The goat on the frontispiece carries the sign of the pentagram on the forehead, with one point at the top, a symbol of light, his two hands forming the sign of hermetism, the one pointing up to the white moon of Chesed, the other pointing down to the black one of Geburah. This sign expresses the perfect harmony of mercy with justice. His one arm is female, the other male like the ones of the androgyn of Khunrath, the attributes of which we had to unite with those of our goat because he is one and the same symbol. The flame of intelligence shining between his horns is the magic light of the universal balance, the image of the soul elevated above matter, as the flame, whilst being tied to matter, shines above it. The ugly beast’s head expresses the horror of the sinner, whose materially acting, solely reponsible part has to bear the punishment exclusively; because the soul is insensitive according to its nature and can only suffer when it materializes. The rod standing instead of genitals symbolizes eternal life, the body covered with scales the water, the semi- circle above it the atmosphere, the feathers following above the volatile. Humanity is represented by the two breasts and the androgyn arms of this sphinx of the occult sciences.”

It's packed full of symbolism, including one of my favorite themes, the union of opposites!

I love its symbolic application to the the concept of the three brains as well - how we have a reptile and a mammal living within or brains simultaneously with our uniquely human brain.

And come on, as an old Gen-X metalhead, you know I'm going to choose the giant Baphomet over the giant yin-yang symbol (which carries a lot of the same meaning)!

And so, thinking that I might be losing my vision, and wanting to achieve this "visual bucket list," I committed to and started this tattoo. It took about a year and a half of monthly sessions to complete! (Those tattoo "reality shows" where they knock out a full color backpiece in a few hours are COMPLETE B.S.!)

And how did the rest of the visual bucket list turn out? Pretty good!
I did technically get to see the Northern Lights (in Iceland), but it was overcast, so it was pretty faint. I would like to give it another go in Iceland or Alaska to get a better view!
I did sort of see the glow worms of New Zealand. My vision was too dim to really see them, unfortunately, but my son did get a good view!
I saw the bioluminescent algae on a nighttime boat ride in Hawaii, and I did get to snorkel at the Great Barrier Reef.
I did see Rapa Nui, too! All of these adventures with my son.

It was a crazy few years, full of extraordinary highs such as visiting those amazing places, and also some scary lows, such as paying for my cremation and final resting place, reviewing my will, etc. in the event of a catastrophic health thing.

So that is the story of the tattoo!