Last week, I went to the funeral of a friend who I had not been in close contact with for some years. It was sad to hear about her passing, but one could not say that it was an "untimely" death. In fact, this friend, a certain Ms. Lillian Flint, had pretty much what most of us would consider "an ideal death." That is to say, she died peacefully in her own home, surrounded by friends and family and flowers (which she loved) at the ripe old age of almost 101. At her funeral, I met her son for the first time and also for the first time learned more about the history of this extraordinary woman.
The first thing that struck anyone about Lillian (whether meeting her towards the end of her life or closer to the beginning) was the amazing unconditional LOVE that this woman radiated. She truly treated EVERYONE with love and respect no matter who they were, what they looked like, what they believed, etc. To me, this seems like a superhuman trait. It makes me wonder, was Lillian simply born without "the asshole gene?" Was she so loving because she was physiologically incapable of being anything but? Probably not. (but I still wonder...) Although Lillian loved the outdoors and was physically active most of her life, I don't think that she was ever dogmatic about it, and while I'm sure she maintained a "sensible" diet, I know that she was not dogmatic about that, either. She made lots of spaghetti for her kid and served cookies with tea for her guests. She was certainly not caught up in the "anti-aging" craze that grips us today. Yet she lived longer that most of us will, kept her sharp wits about her to the end, and was only really homebound for her "final illness" (which lasted for 3 months). What was her secret? Aside from "lucky genes," I have to say, it had to be Love.
Lillian's passing drew a sharp contrast to the passing of my grandfather, who died miserably in a hospital from lung cancer at the age of 68. Here was a man who everyone expected to live much longer. He was a disciplined and athletic character who never smoked or used drugs, and he exercised every day without fail, always attentive to his diet and physical condition. He was a smart and successful man -- a retired Navy submarine captain -- and he was "never sick a day in his life." However... he was an ANGRY man, and, sadly, also a very hateful man. Every morning, after his morning swim, he would literally pound his fist against the breakfast table and yell about how "the liberals" were putting this country down the toilet. He used to yell, "A Democrat in the White House? Over my dead body!!!" (True fact : my grandfather died on the day that Bill Clinton was inaugurated!) After he passed, I don't think that he was missed by too many people, and I know that nobody visits his grave. (I'm not even sure where it is!)
In contrast, Lillian is missed by many, and will be remembered forever by all who ever knew her. She reminded me that above all else, the key to a long and happy life is Love. Love is the Law, indeed.
For the rest of us jerks, we do need to put more attention to diet, exercise, rest, adjustments, etc. Or... we could try to be more loving to our fellow human beings. I don't suppose we need to like everyone (good thing!) but the world would be way better if we could love each other -- exactly as they are, unconditionally. Peace out!
-DK